Give Me A Call When You Decide You’re Willing To Fight.

This is a shout-out to the mommies who decide to set their daughters’ molesters on fire. I’ve seen so much dithering, mush-mouthed nonsense on this subject over the last few days, I absolutely want to puke. You know what? Sometimes trying to be a paragon of fairness and rational thought just doesn’t cut it. Sometimes … Read more

How to Pin Down a Husband Using Only a Needle and a Naughty Wink

Desperate to Become a Housewife? Desigual Has the Answer! Yes, that’s right. For Mother’s Day, this Spanish clothing brand wants you to be cute, sassy…and knocked up. And what could be sexier than tricking a man into becoming a father? Screw honesty, family planning or the already saddening rate at which children are growing up … Read more

‘Frozen’ Made Me Gay

…And by “gay” I mean oh so very happy. The controversy over hidden gay themes within this magical children’s cartoon? Not so much. “Oh that silly yam!” you’re probably thinking to yourself. “That’s ridiculous! She’ll say anything for a laugh.” But no. In case you haven’t heard, last month radio talk show host Kevin Swanson … Read more

Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar!

flappermagazine

I wonder sometimes why modern slang sounds like screeching chalkboard nails to my ears, yet old-fashioned slang is so fascinating. For instance: “Oh-Em-Gee! I totes heart that dress! It’s like so amaze gorg and that sale price is ridic!” Perhaps I’m bothered by the lack of ingenuity. We aren’t really coming up with new words … Read more