‘Frozen’ Made Me Gay

…And by “gay” I mean oh so very happy. The controversy over hidden gay themes within this magical children’s cartoon? Not so much.

“Oh that silly yam!” you’re probably thinking to yourself. “That’s ridiculous! She’ll say anything for a laugh.” But no. In case you haven’t heard, last month radio talk show host Kevin Swanson declared that Satan is using this film “to indoctrinate my 5-year-old to be a lesbian.”

“If I was the Devil, what would I do to really foul up an entire social system and do something really, really, really evil to 5- and 6- and 7-year-olds in Christian families around America?”

“I would buy Disney. If I was the Devil, I would buy Disney in 1984, that’s what I would have done,” Swanson said, after promising that he’s no tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist. To which I can only reply: Oh cupcake, if the tinfoil hat fits, polish that sucker up and staple it to your head.

Apparently the themes of isolation, the idea of having to hide your true self away lest you be judged, Elsa’s lack of interest in finding her own prince, and even the movie’s hit song “Let it Go” are TOP SEKRIT MIND KONTROL TOOLS aimed at brain-washing your children into accepting and adopting a homosexual lifestyle. This must all be the wacko, anti-gay slobbering of one sad little mind, you might think. Again: no. Others, including far-right bloggers and film critics have espoused the same views. One critic, Steven Greydanus, went so far as to declare that the relationship between Kristoff and his reindeer Sven clearly promotes beastiality.

First of all, the island of conclusions- you have to jump to get there! Secondly, shame on you Disney! How dare you make a movie, especially in these times of rampant bullying and teen suicide, that promotes self-acceptance and acceptance of the differences of those around you. What a horribly, horribly anti-Christian notion. And last of all, I’m shocked they didn’t manage to work Olaf the snowman into this equation somehow. I personally found him to be a little swishy. In fact, all snowmen are slightly suspect, walking around waving those giant carrots all suggestively. You heard it here first: Frosty Was Gay Too!

Now it’s easy to be reactionary and angry, or to mock and point at these sadly close-minded fools who will say pretty much anything for ratings. However, I like to try to put myself in the shoes of these people (okay, not their actual shoes, they usually have terrible taste and my own shoes are much too fabulous to abandon, but go with me here!). I do have some ultra-religious conservative acquaintances and in general they are not Horrible Human Beings. They’ve just been taught that you must live and act a certain way in order to be eternally rewarded. And if you can’t actually live up to these lofty standards, at least have the good manners to hide who you really are, while feeling guilty, dirty and shameful.

They already feel that the tides of the world are turning against them, old beliefs being washed clean by the ice-cold waters of reason and logic. Time is wearing away at their special snowflake status. What if God really doesn’t care if two men love each other? What if it truly isn’t your place to judge? I know, dude, it’s rough. The idea of a bunch of homosexuals mucking up your perfectly good Heaven. Maybe they can have a segregated off-shoot Heaven with lots of rainbows amongst the clouds, and Gloria Gaynor playing on a perpetual loop, disco round.

Anyway. Already being on this slippery slope of love and acceptance, along comes this movie! For children! Or in the famous words of Hudsucker Proxy “You know, for kids.” This movie telling your babies that hey, maybe it’s okay to be the real you. Maybe you ain’t gotta hide. Maybe what’s sick and wrong is to band together like sheep in a group mindthink that keeps everyone assimilated and afraid. Perhaps your differences are what make you extraordinary and you should let them shine. Perhaps we are all snowflakes and there is room both in Heaven and on Earth for each and every one.

Change is scary, I get it. Having your entire worldview questioned is uncomfortable. But it doesn’t have to be. I’ll hold your hand, even if you hate me. Even if you fear me and see crazy agendas where there are none. I’ll hold your hand and yes we will build a snowman, and it will be the biggest, gayest snowman that ever was.

Comment ( 1 )

  1. Replylifeonprint

    First off, I'd like to say that people in general are crazy and will look for a hidden agenda anywhere and everywhere if given the chance. Second as a believer and Christ follower, I have seen this movie and LOVED it! I loved how the "True Love" that would break the spell was the love for her sister, I love that this movie did not push the need for a man in your life to be complete. I am a single mom and I laugh when people ask me if I get lonely, and "don't you want a boyfriend?" Why??? I am so happy with out all the headache, I have a very full, almost overfull life, full of friends, my family, my jobs, my photography = no time to be lonely! I am also a huge supporter of being yourself, I am outspoken, crazy, talk way too much, and very often I have no filter, but I like being me. I try to not be "on purpose" offensive, I don't like to make people sad or to be hurtful..but I will also never apologize for my beliefs or for being true to myself. I truly feel that everyone should follow their dreams and do what makes them happy (within reason of course, if being cruel or hurting people or living things makes you happy then you should be kicked really hard). There is already way to much negativity in this world and I have learned that you get nowhere with hate, but so very far with love. Many people feel bad enough about themselves and just really want to be loved and accepted by someone. So now that I have gone on and on about me, and totally off topic (such an only child thing to do) Let me say that I really do not see any "Gay agenda" in this movie, and I am pretty darn sure that no 5 year old would see this movie and think, "I am now going to turn gay because it's the only way I can be a strong and independent woman" Children just don't think that way, they aren't tainted yet by the warped way of thinking like many adults, they are happy, caring, loving,fun, simple with no hidden agenda type mini people- they love they don't hate, perhaps we should all be more child-like mined and this world would be such a better place.

Rant or rave, I'll love you just the same: