This is what happens when all of the weirdness stored in my head collides.
I was on a windswept, moonlit beach at night. I think it was Norway. And apparently also on an episode of ANTM. Tyra Banks whips out this long piece of black glittering fabric and tells us our challenge is to create a bondage-inspired outfit using only this fabric and then pose provocatively with the sea as our Mistress.
So I take out my scissors and cut the fabric into tiny pieces and start throwing them at her. Tyra screams at me for ruining the challenge and expensive designer fabric. I’m standing by the ocean completely naked with little bits of sparkling black cloth swirling around me in the wind and I start explaining to Tyra why bondage fashion is another symptom of the way women have been brainwashed by the patriarchy to be weak and submissive and on display for the pleasure of men.
And then I laughed and ran into the freezing ocean where there were dolphins swimming, but not the rapey kind and also a polar bear.