How to Pin Down a Husband Using Only a Needle and a Naughty Wink

Desperate to Become a Housewife? Desigual Has the Answer!

Yes, that’s right. For Mother’s Day, this Spanish clothing brand wants you to be cute, sassy…and knocked up. And what could be sexier than tricking a man into becoming a father? Screw honesty, family planning or the already saddening rate at which children are growing up in fatherless homes. Put on your hottest dress and make adorable little “oopsy!” faces while mutilating your condoms with a needle.

Aside from the terrible example this ad is setting, I find it offensive on so many other levels. Way to portray women as nothing more than baby-hungry whores with no integrity, willing to do anything to capture that Precious Golden Man-Sperm Elixir. Are they purposely trying to feed into the fantasies of those delusional Men’s Rights Movement wackos, who are convinced that women are conniving leeches with no goals beyond digging our perfectly manicured talons into the hard-earned wallets of innocent men everywhere?

I can only hope this is part of a fantastic new trend. Next up: Venus Flytap Barbie! She’ll come with an entire Man Deceiver kit full of useful tools- a tiny pincushion, faked pregnancy tests, a turkey baster and her own alimony lawyer. Sorry, I’ll get back to being outraged soon, gotta go pitch my idea to Mattel!

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