…And by “gay” I mean oh so very happy. The controversy over hidden gay themes within this magical children’s cartoon? Not so much.
“Oh that silly yam!” you’re probably thinking to yourself. “That’s ridiculous! She’ll say anything for a laugh.” But no. In case you haven’t heard, last month radio talk show host Kevin Swanson declared that Satan is using this film “to indoctrinate my 5-year-old to be a lesbian.”
“If I was the Devil, what would I do to really foul up an entire social system and do something really, really, really evil to 5- and 6- and 7-year-olds in Christian families around America?”
“I would buy Disney. If I was the Devil, I would buy Disney in 1984, that’s what I would have done,” Swanson said, after promising that he’s no tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist. To which I can only reply: Oh cupcake, if the tinfoil hat fits, polish that sucker up and staple it to your head.
Apparently the themes of isolation, the idea of having to hide your true self away lest you be judged, Elsa’s lack of interest in finding her own prince, and even the movie’s hit song “Let it Go” are TOP SEKRIT MIND KONTROL TOOLS aimed at brain-washing your children into accepting and adopting a homosexual lifestyle. This must all be the wacko, anti-gay slobbering of one sad little mind, you might think. Again: no. Others, including far-right bloggers and film critics have espoused the same views. One critic, Steven Greydanus, went so far as to declare that the relationship between Kristoff and his reindeer Sven clearly promotes beastiality.
First of all, the island of conclusions- you have to jump to get there! Secondly, shame on you Disney! How dare you make a movie, especially in these times of rampant bullying and teen suicide, that promotes self-acceptance and acceptance of the differences of those around you. What a horribly, horribly anti-Christian notion. And last of all, I’m shocked they didn’t manage to work Olaf the snowman into this equation somehow. I personally found him to be a little swishy. In fact, all snowmen are slightly suspect, walking around waving those giant carrots all suggestively. You heard it here first: Frosty Was Gay Too!
Now it’s easy to be reactionary and angry, or to mock and point at these sadly close-minded fools who will say pretty much anything for ratings. However, I like to try to put myself in the shoes of these people (okay, not their actual shoes, they usually have terrible taste and my own shoes are much too fabulous to abandon, but go with me here!). I do have some ultra-religious conservative acquaintances and in general they are not Horrible Human Beings. They’ve just been taught that you must live and act a certain way in order to be eternally rewarded. And if you can’t actually live up to these lofty standards, at least have the good manners to hide who you really are, while feeling guilty, dirty and shameful.
They already feel that the tides of the world are turning against them, old beliefs being washed clean by the ice-cold waters of reason and logic. Time is wearing away at their special snowflake status. What if God really doesn’t care if two men love each other? What if it truly isn’t your place to judge? I know, dude, it’s rough. The idea of a bunch of homosexuals mucking up your perfectly good Heaven. Maybe they can have a segregated off-shoot Heaven with lots of rainbows amongst the clouds, and Gloria Gaynor playing on a perpetual loop, disco round.
Anyway. Already being on this slippery slope of love and acceptance, along comes this movie! For children! Or in the famous words of Hudsucker Proxy “You know, for kids.” This movie telling your babies that hey, maybe it’s okay to be the real you. Maybe you ain’t gotta hide. Maybe what’s sick and wrong is to band together like sheep in a group mindthink that keeps everyone assimilated and afraid. Perhaps your differences are what make you extraordinary and you should let them shine. Perhaps we are all snowflakes and there is room both in Heaven and on Earth for each and every one.
Change is scary, I get it. Having your entire worldview questioned is uncomfortable. But it doesn’t have to be. I’ll hold your hand, even if you hate me. Even if you fear me and see crazy agendas where there are none. I’ll hold your hand and yes we will build a snowman, and it will be the biggest, gayest snowman that ever was.