How To Disappear Completely and Never Be Found

I think I’m going to lay off looking for signs of intelligent life on Facebook for a while. It’s a hard choice for me. Do I just go full echo chamber and block the people who leave gross comments? If I do that, why ever post anything? Do I just shut up and post cute … Read moreHow To Disappear Completely and Never Be Found

Things I Learned on the Internet Today

I’ve learned a lot of important things from the internetz today.   1. A group of baboons organized and executed an escape plan from a medical testing facility. The public has been reassured that LOL those wacky primates with their hijinks have been captured and everyone is safe once again. Except for, y’know. The baboons. … Read moreThings I Learned on the Internet Today

God is a Bullet

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I didn’t think much of anything could be more exhausting than listening to people argue over the president and his daily atrocities. I was wrong, watching people tear each other apart over gun violence is even worse.   I keep getting referred to as “you people” if I disagree with anyone. I’m not sure which … Read moreGod is a Bullet

Books For Girls To Revolt By

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Almost exactly one year ago, practically everyone I know crumpled over in grief. The people who matter. What were we mourning? The death of everything we believed in. An outraged cry went up, a disbelieving howl of anger and disgust. Words and words and words poured out of me at the time. I was an … Read moreBooks For Girls To Revolt By

The Wind Blew All Around Me

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It was so beautiful outside, like a child’s watercolor dream of fall. It was unseasonably warm but not uncomfortably so. The previous night’s rain had left everything with a glowing, over-saturated sheen of color. The wind danced and blustered, playing hide-and-go-seek with itself, swirling the bright confetti leaves madly in every direction. Right before sunset, … Read moreThe Wind Blew All Around Me

In the Mouth of the Wolf #MeToo

There’s a sense of momentum afoot. All of the allegations of sexual assault in Hollywood, having a serial sexual predator as our President. Women have finally reached their limit. All across social media, cries of “me too, me too!” can be heard. The sheer magnitude, the enormity of the problem makes it hard for me … Read moreIn the Mouth of the Wolf #MeToo

I Can Dance on My Own Grave, Thank You.

So last month I took a little break from the internetz, coming online strictly to work and briefly check in with friends for 2 hours every 3-5 days. I did miss keeping up with everyone’s posts and also entering contests, BUT overall I felt it was a much more focused and efficient system. Healthier.   … Read moreI Can Dance on My Own Grave, Thank You.

A Lesson On Generosity: How Nicki Minaj Just Outclassed Everyone

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It’s a strange time in America, I think most of us can agree. We’re currently being led by a megalomaniacal, pathologically lying shyster of an old man whose one accidentally true statement may have been that he doesn’t stand  behind anything. Clamoring and jostling just beneath him, we have a GOP-majority Congress running wild like … Read moreA Lesson On Generosity: How Nicki Minaj Just Outclassed Everyone

4 Ways To Tell if You’re a Crazy Pet Parent

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1. Your pet eats better than you do. I was halfway through filling out a ten-page questionnaire regarding my dog’s breeding, eating habits, medical history, allergies and disposition all aimed at creating the perfect personalized gourmet dogfood blend for him, when I realized it was possible I’d lost my mind. This particular company would take … Read more4 Ways To Tell if You’re a Crazy Pet Parent

Put down that weight and rest your arms.

I spend entire days contorting my body, Trying to see behind myself, the path that brought me here. Feeling delicately at the ground with pointed toes As if I could slip perfectly into snowdrift footsteps, never falter, stay within the lines winding back and back through time. But I’m a lumbering beast crashing through this … Read morePut down that weight and rest your arms.